Playing the Dating Game
So I was surfing the Web like a complete and utter dork on Wednesday afternoon when I received a curious instant message. It was from a woman I had never met, and she was quite forward about getting to know me. I was suspicious from the start, but after a few minutes of banal conversation, I had learned that she was a college friend of a close buddy of mine who had seen my MySpace profile and wanted to meet me. I love the Internet.
And since she saw my profile, you could guess what I did next -- quickly minimizing the IM box to search out her photo on my buddy’s friend list. I’d say this makes me a shallow dirtbag of sorts, but you’d do the same thing, right? Right?
So I found her, and much to my surprise, she wasn’t a demented mongoloid. In fact, she wasn’t bad at all. And now we’re going out next Thursday. This is what the humans call "a date." Naturally, this is a productive development towards the end goal of this Web log.
But it was only after I finished speaking with her that I closely examined her profile. I think she may be nuts. Here’s the thing about MySpace which really bothers me. If you were to read my profile, I'd like to think you get an idea of what the ingredients are, but not the main dish. Unfortunately, many people tend to reveal FAR too much about themselves in their personal profiles. And my pending date is no different. Check out a couple of these gems:
About me: I am 24 and live in NYC. I miss all my friends and family … I am looking to have some fun and meet lots of people. ; ) Particularly those of the male species.
Ummm ... okay. She follows this with a 57-part questionnaire –- no joke, I actually counted –- explaining everything I would ever want (and not want) to know. I’ve culled three from the list which are alarming to say the least.
Your Weakness: Men
Your Fears: Being alone, being bored
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Lose weight, meet a nice guy and settle down
This girl is not just looking for a man ... she is HUNTING for one. I feel like I’ve been cast in "The Most Dangerous Game." I’ll go though, partly because I shouldn't judge someone on a computer screen, partly because she could be a fun time, but mostly because it will be something fun to write about next week.
And if you don’t hear back from me, assume she ate me following a mating session. Tell my mother I love her. Stay tuned.
***UPDATE: She was nuts. Horrible kisser, too. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.***
Dan Hanzus
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3:42 PM
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